CHARLOTTE'S WEB SIDES
Narrator: Shhh! Listen to the sounds of the morning. Very, very early morning. So early, in fact, the sun isn't even up yet.
Listen to the crickets … the hoot-owls … a frog down by the pond … a dog up at the next farm.
And today there's another sound. It tells that something exciting happened during the night. Some brand-new pigs were born.
Here's one of them right now exploring his new home.
Act Two Page 40
Narrator: The days of summer drifted on. Before long, summer was almost gone.
The end of summer brings many things. Late harvesting. Thoughts of school. And the County Fair.
Step right up, ladies and gentleman. Ride the giant Ferris wheel. Only ten cents. One thin dime. You can see the whole county from the top of the giant Ferris wheel.
Right over here, fellows. Win a genuine Navaho blanket. Knock down three cloth cats with three regulation baseballs, and you're a winner every time.
Act One Page 6 - 7
Fern, Mr. and Mrs. Arable discuss what will happen to the pig.
Fern: Where's Papa going with that ax?
Mrs. Arable: Out to the hoghouse. Some pigs were born last night.
Fern: I don't see why he needs an ax.
Mrs. Arable: Well one of the pigs is a runt. It's very small and weak. So your father has decided to do away with it.
Fern: I've got to stop him. Papa can't kill it just because it's smaller than the others.
Mrs. Arable: Stop, Fern! Don't yell. Your father is right. The pig would probably die anyway.
Fern: Papa, please don't kill it. It's unfair.
Arable: Fern, I know more about raising a litter of pigs than you do. A weakling makes trouble. Now run along!
Fern: But it's unfair. The pig couldn't help being born small, could it? This is the most terrible case of injustice I ever heard of.
Mrs. Arable: Fern! John?
Arable: Oh … all right. I'll let you take care of it for a little while.
Fern: Thank you, Papa.
Mrs. Arable: You can start him on a bottle, like a baby. I'll go look for one. (exit)
Avery: What's going on? What's Fern doing over there?
Arable: Your sister has a guest for breakfast, Avery. In fact, for a little while, she's going to be raising that pig.
Avery: You call that miserable thing a pig? He's nothing but a runt.
Arable: Come in the house and eat your breakfast, Avery. The school bus will be along in half an hour.
Fern: I'm going to have such a good time with this little pig.
Avery: Can I have a pig, too, Pop.
Arable: No. I only distribute pigs to early risers who are trying to rid the world of injustice. Let's eat. (exit)
Mrs. Arable: Fern, honey, I found a baby's nursing bottle and a rubber nipple. I'll pour some warm milk in it. Bring your pig in, and give him some breakfast. Say, what's his name, anyway?
Fern: Why, I don't know.
Page 12 - 13
The Zuckerman's are preparing for the arrival of the pig
Homer & Edith Zuckerman and Lurvy the hired hand
Edith: Homer Zuckerman, I want to know where you plan to keep that pig.
Homer: Right over here in the barn, Edith. Lurvy, go out there and patch up that piece of fence that's coming down.
Lurvy: Sure thing, Mr. Zuckerman. (Exit)
Homer: I'll slide this door back so he can't get in there where the cows are.
Edith: Well, I just hope this pig's not going to be more trouble than it's worth.
Homer: Now, I couldn't turn down Fern, could I? She seemed so desperate. Anyway, she only asked six dollars for it. When the pig gets big enough to slaughter, he'll be worth a lot more than six dollars.
Edith: (cleaning up) Ugh. Dirt, spider webs …
Homer: Perfect for a pig.
Page 14 – 15
Farm animals and Rat meet Wilbur at the Zuckerman farm
Wilber, Goose, Gander, Templeton, Sheep and Lamb
Goose: Hello, hello, hello.
Wilbur: (Startled). Who … who are you?
Goose: The Goose.
Wilbur: Oh. Hi, Goose.
Goose: And this is my friend, the Gander, Gander, Gander.
Wilbur: But I only see one Gander. You introduced me to three.
Goose: No, no, no.
Gander: We tend to repeat, repeat, repeat ourselves.
Goose: Do you have a name … besides "pig?"
Wilbur: Yes. They call me Wilber.
Templeton: Wilbur? That's a pretty tacky name, if you ask me.
Goose: Well, nobody, nobody, nobody asked you.
Wilbur: Who was that?
Gander: Templeton the rat.
Templeton: In person. Well, I will admit it's nice to have a pig around the place again. I haven't had delicious, leftover slops in an age.
Wilbur: But the slops will be for me.
Templeton: I am sure you'll find it in your charitable little heart to share your food with dear old Templeton. Especially if I make a nest right here beside your trough.
Sheep: (off) What's all the commotion in here?
Gander: It's the old, old Sheep.
Goose: And the little, little Lamb. (Sheep and Lamb enter.)
Gander: We have a new resident.
Goose: His name is Wilbur.
Lamb: (unenthused). Oh, yeah. The pig.
Wilbur: You know about me?
Sheep: We overheard the Zuckerman's discussing you. They plan to keep you nice and comfortable.
Lamb: And fatten you up with delicious slops.
Wilbur: Oh, I am going to like it here.
Sheep: Just the same, we don't envy you. You know why they want to make you fat and tender, don't you?
Wilbur: No, I don't.
Goose: Now, now, now, old Sheep. He'll learn soon enough.
Wilbur: learn what?
Sheep: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Nice to meet you … Wilbur. Lamb, mind your manners.
Lamb: (not meaning it). Nice … to … meet … you … Wilbur.
Wilbur: My pleasure, I'm sure.
Goose: Well, I have eggs to hatch.
Templeton: And I have trash piles to raid.
Gander: Good, good, good night, Wilbur. Better get some rest after a long day.
Wilbur: Yes, thank you, I will.
Page 18 -19
Wilbur meets Charlotte the spider.
Charlotte and Wilbur
Wilbur: Attention please! Will the party who just spoke to me make himself or herself known? (A pause.) Please tell me where you are if you are my friend.
Wilbur: (excitedly). Oh, hello. What are salutations?
Charlotte: It's a fancy way of saying "hello."
Wilbur: Oh. And salutations to you, too. Very pleased to meet you. What is your name, please? May I have your name?
Charlotte: My name is Charlotte.
Wilbur: Charlotte what?
Charlotte: Charlotte A. Cavatica. I'm a spider.
Wilbur: I think you're beautiful.
Charlotte: Thank you.
Wilbur: And your web is beautiful too.
Charlotte: It's my home. I know it looks fragile. But it's really very strong. It protects me. And I trap my food in it.
Wilbur: I'm so happy you'll be my friend. In fact, it restores my appetite. Will you join me?
Charlotte: No, thank you. My breakfast is waiting for me on the other side of my web.
Wilbur: Oh. What are you having?
Charlotte: A fly. I caught it this morning.
Wilbur: (choking). You eat … flies?
Charlotte: And bugs. Actually, I drink their blood.
Charlotte: That's the way I'm made. I can't help it. Anyway, if I didn't catch insects and eat them, there would soon be so many they'd destroy the earth, wipe out everything.
Wilbur: Really? I wouldn't want that to happen.
Charlotte: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have my breakfast. (exit)
Wilbur: (with uncertainty). Well, I've got a new friend, all right. But Charlotte is … brutal, I think. And bloodthirsty. How can I learn to like her, even though she is pretty, and very clever, it seems. (He glances back at the web, then slowly lies down.)
Charlotte, Fern and the farm animals have discussed how they will save Wilbur from being killed.
Fern: In here, Avery.
Avery: Mother sent me to get you. You're going to miss supper.
Fern: Coming. 'Bye, everybody. And thank you, Charlotte, for whatever it is you're going to do to save Wilbur.
Avery: Who's Charlotte?
Fern: The spider over there.
Avery: It's tremenjus! (He picks up a stick.)
Fern: Leave it alone.
Avery: That's a fine spider and I'm going to capture it.
Fern: You stop it, Avery.
Avery: I want that spider. (Fern grabs Avery's stick.) Let go of my stick, Fern!
Fern: Stop it! Stop it, I say!
Act Two Page 42 - 43
At the fair – Edith is washing Wilbur
Homer, Edith, Fern, Avery, Mrs. Arable, Arable
Homer: What Are you doing, Edith?
Edith: Giving the pig a buttermilk sponge bath. He worked up a sweat when you and Fern took him for that walk just now.
Fern: Can I have some money?
Avery: Can I, too?
Fern: I'm going to win a doll.
Avery: I'm going to crash a jet plane into another one. (He demonstrates and almost upsets Edith).
Mrs. Arable: Avery!
Avery: Sorry aunt Edith.
Edith: It's okay. They're just excited.
Fern: Can I have a balloon?
Avery: Can I have a cheeseburger?
Mrs. Arable: You'll have to wait until we can go with you.
Arable: Oh, now, Martha. Let's let the children go off by themselves. The Fair only comes once a year. (Fern and Avery cheer. He gives them some money). Now run along. But don't be gone long.
Fern: Okay, 'bye. Scrub Wilbur up real good, Aunt Edith. He's got to win that blue ribbon tomorrow.
Avery: Come on, Fern.
Arable: Now hurry back. We'll be leaving in a little while. Tomorrow's the big day.
Fern: Okay, Papa. (Fern and Avery exit).
Arable: (Calling after them.) Don't eat lots of stuff that's going to make you sick to your stomachs.
Mrs. Arable: And if you go on those swings, you hang on tight. Hear me?
Edith: And don't get lost!
Mrs. Arable: Don't get dirty!
Homer: Don't get overheated!
Arable: Watch out for pickpockets!
Edith: And don't cross the racetrack when the horses are coming!
Mrs. Arable: Do you think it's alright, John?
Arable: Well, they've got to grow up sometime. And a Fair is a good place to start, I guess. (Mrs. Arable sighs).